Odd things to celebrate, including my surgery!

I REALLY don't know where the time goes.... I actually love to blog but never seem to have time to sit down and do it. Today is an odd Saturday morning, where it's past 8am and I find myself the only one awake. No early morning hockey practice today, basketball games and dance classes don't begin for a few hours, nobody has commandeered the kitchen computer to research tortoises or play video games,  so I am actually ALONE and I don't start my mom chauffeur gig for at least an hour, so let me catch everyone up!

It's March 3rd, 2012. About a week or so ago I hit a cancer milestone, my ONE YEAR SURVIVOR anniversary (February 24th).  It was just over a year ago that I heard that dreaded term Cancer and realized I was not invincible -har har.  I hear other survivors talk about their years as survivors, and in the back of mine I always think that at some point they will lose track because the cancer will be a distant memory.  I now realize that is not the case.  The 24th was in some ways, an awesome day- I made it a year!  But in other ways I didn't want to acknowledge it as I still think I have another 40 years left in me.  It's an odd feeling being very optimistic 99.9% of the time on all things, cancer, life, exotic places I will travel to, people I will meet, opportunities that my kids will have, things they will do, things Brian and I will do.... you name it!  And then .1% of the time, or probably even less than that, I get those harrowing feelings that I cannot assume I have 40 years. I really might not. And when my mind goes here I almost always move away from the fact that cancer is going to get me, because I really think I have kicked it's butt, but that life can change in the blink of the eye and so we really do need to cherish the present.  That allows me to turn off those negative death thoughts, and focus on the day and some how that has become quite easy to do.  This past year has thrown some very big curve balls at me and my family (even beyond the cancer!), and somehow they are easier to take. We are able to step up and hit the ball, and move on.  I have learned to realize that we can deal with anything as long as we have our health, which fingers crossed, we do again.

So let me catch you up on the cancer stuff. I really appreciate everyone checking in on my health and reminding me to blog. Let's take this in reverse.....Lately I have been feeling almost normal. I have more energy than I've had in a while, I have a few medical appointments here and there for herceptin infusions, and things like that, but nothing daily or even weekly for that matter.  It is like a dream!  Time for me, time to exercise, down time - AHHHHHhhhhh!  I wrapped up my radiation therapy in early December.  Radiation involved daily visits to the local hospital for 33 treatments in all, so it lasted about 6 weeks.  It's all relative, so I can say that other than it being a pain to drive there each and every week day, the side effects were manageable. It made me a little tired, and did cause some skin sores, but all in all not that bad. I love the team at Good Sam- Dr Stutz and his staff were low key and awesome!!  In early August it was the bilateral mastectomy, and all in all that went well.  Losing body parts is an odd feeling, but by that point THOSE particular parts were public enemy 1 and 2, so I was glad to see them go (they started all this nonsense, right!!??!!).  And it was oddly liberating going from a very large chest to none at all!  When I actually wear a chest, prosthetic of course, it seems very odd.  The other night I had a gig...yep you read that right...checked another item off the bucket list and joined a little band to perform with other parents at the school.  I was the lead tabmourine player and did back up vocals and had a blast! the funny part was how 'in the way' my chest was as I have never practiced with one - so ironic but so true!!  The show was a ball, and despite my lack of musical talent, I am working on honing some skills so I can take part again never year. Cow bell maybe?

NEXT WEEK is a BIG WEEK!  I am scheduled for reconstruction surgery on March 7th.  This is a long surgery, anticipated to last 10-14 hours. My plastic surgeon is a fantastic man and has done this type and length of surgery many times.  Given my rare cancer, I have to reconstruct au natural so I am going with the DIEP/TRAM procedure where they use your own tissue to rebuild and nothing artificial.  This leads to the extensive surgery time and extended recovery, but longer term is the best option for my situation.  I will be recovering for about 6 weeks I am told.  I am very excited that it's coming up soon, and appreciate all the well wishes. My biggest concern is leaving my kids for a week, as I am told I'll be admitted to the hospital for 6 or 7 days.  Grandma Peggy and Brian are covering the home front, my sister from NY (Aunt Tara) and Brian are taking turns staying at the hospital with me, and with all my fabulous neighbors and friends helping with meals it should go very well.

I am hearing noises... that means the kiddies are up and about... and my quiet time has ended for the day.  Enjoy the long holiday weekend and know that your love and support has made this last year one of the most rewarding I have ever experienced.