Welcome

So who would have guessed this? That my first blog would be about breast cancer? Surely not me! This was certainly not part of my life plan for my late 30's, but it's here now so I've been forced to dig in. The response to my health news was AMAZING! The tidal wave of support I received from family, friends, neighbors and former strangers has made all the difference in being able to take on this challege. As many of you said in your emails, cards and phone calls, this news is shocking to hear....but there are positives to the cards I’ve been dealt. They found my cancer early enough to cure me, and I will not only survive this but I will come out stronger for having endured it. While this whole experience has been surreal, you cannot image the amazing life moments I’ve experienced in the last few weeks, as I am seeing life quite a bit differently than I did before hearing the word cancer. I titled this blog right after hearing I had breast cancer, a cancer I thought was much simpler than I now know. So while my initial silver linings have changed quite a bit over the last few weeks, they are still there and are in some ways even better now, and I hope to share them with you along my journey! GAME ON!

Me & Bri

Me & Bri
Me & Bri

Favorite Quotes:

A Woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Shared by Beth Taylor- Thank you Mrs Taylor- I love it!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Coming out of the fog....

Where does the time go? I am shocked to see today that my last blog was on July 8th- REALLY?!?!  What in the heck have I been doing?!  Well let me catch you up on my stuff....

July was WONDERFUL!  A week after I wrapped up chemo, we took off  to our little piece of heaven outside of Saugatuck. It was great to get away and forget about treatments, chores, work, you name it!  Then in mid July I hit a milestone- I joined the 40 & over club- and I have to say it's been great. Brian and some friends caught me by surprise the week after my birthday with a wig party- - the timing was awesome as I was finally back to full energy at that point.  Loved July; Needed July; Then came August....

Not my best month, by a long shot. I had surgery on August 8th. The surgery itself was fine; I was out and back in what seemed like minutes. The actual surgery took 5 hours, and all went as planned. I was not very mobile for two weeks, but that was expected.  hard drugs & lots of sleep.  all as expected... then it wasn't as expected after that. I developed an infection that took two rounds of drugs and all my oomph to fight it.  Additionally I was having drainage issues (I'll leave it at that).  So it took about 5 weeks to get back to my new 'normal', and at the same time I went back to work.  That was two weeks ago and I am finally feeling like I am getting back into my groove at work and home.  I don't know that I was depressed, per se, in August, but I can clearly state I was not happy. I felt like I was stuck in a fog, or a funk, and wasn't really engaging much in life around me.  Thankfully I am feeling more normal again and have been out and about quite a bit in the last 2 weeks.

Treatment wise, I met with two radiation oncologists in early September to determine where to get my radiation done. In the end, I found a wonderful oncologist, Dr Stutz, at Good Samaritan hospital near my house.  Last week I did a radiation mapping with the oncology team there, and then yesterday I had my first treatment.   The mapping including making a mold of my body that I lay in each time I go, plus scans to determine where to shoot the rays during treatment.  Then today I got my first set of tattoos- I now have FOUR!  This is just one of the crazy things 40 year old ladies do :o)  Just kidding- it's part of radiation- small green dots where they need to aim the lasers to set up radiation.  But still, I have tattoos now..... it's true.

I am relieved to be going locally for radiation (5 minutes away- YOOO HOOO!), as I go 5 days a week for 33 treatments.  I will wrap up in early November, and then I WILL BE OFFICIALLY CANCER FREE!   How do I know that? Well technically I don't, but I had a great response to the chemo, had the mastectomy, and now radiation is to clean up any stragglers (straggling cancer cells that is), so I am making that declaration and sticking to it. When I asked the oncologist how I'll know if I am cancer free, they said we won't know, unless I eventually die of something else.  Not sure what the hell kind of answer that is, but that is what I've been told.  There is no test to determine if they got rid of it all,  so only time will tell.  But I guess that is true for all of us. We don't know what is on the horizon for us, and we have to go on living life to it's fullest. I feel like I should have my photo stuck to those little signs that say "live each day like it's your last" because the truth is we never know when our number is up!  I was almost t-boned at an intersection a few weeks back and thought how ironic to go through chemo and surgery, only to be smooshed in my minivan!

My current stats:  2 treatments down, 31 to go, and 40+ more years once I am cancer free!  THANK YOU for all your cards, meals, and other sentiments; I am woefully late on my thank you cards but they are coming!  The tidal wave of support is what has kept me going strong, and I am forever grateful for my wonderful family, friends and community.

GAME ON!
Mickie

PS- did I mention I have quite a bit of hair now?  I look like a dude but it's coming in thick and furious!