Welcome

So who would have guessed this? That my first blog would be about breast cancer? Surely not me! This was certainly not part of my life plan for my late 30's, but it's here now so I've been forced to dig in. The response to my health news was AMAZING! The tidal wave of support I received from family, friends, neighbors and former strangers has made all the difference in being able to take on this challege. As many of you said in your emails, cards and phone calls, this news is shocking to hear....but there are positives to the cards I’ve been dealt. They found my cancer early enough to cure me, and I will not only survive this but I will come out stronger for having endured it. While this whole experience has been surreal, you cannot image the amazing life moments I’ve experienced in the last few weeks, as I am seeing life quite a bit differently than I did before hearing the word cancer. I titled this blog right after hearing I had breast cancer, a cancer I thought was much simpler than I now know. So while my initial silver linings have changed quite a bit over the last few weeks, they are still there and are in some ways even better now, and I hope to share them with you along my journey! GAME ON!

Me & Bri

Me & Bri
Me & Bri

Favorite Quotes:

A Woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Shared by Beth Taylor- Thank you Mrs Taylor- I love it!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

A quick recap of where we are at.........and how the heck we got here!

The last several weeks are a bit of a blur.  I cannot believe that tomorrow is April 1st, as that means I essentially missed a good part of the last 6 weeks, or so it seems....

Back in early February I had an odd swelling in the left side of my chest. Then it started to get really sore, so I went to see my local doctor, that was February 18th.  The pain reminded me of an infection I had a few years ago while nursing. The doctor  prescribed antibiotics and luckily decided to send me for a mammogram 'just to be sure'.  She said she thought there might be a cyst in there that needed to be drained. 
Then came the game changer- February 24th- when I went to Good Samaritan for the mammogram I am sure you can imagine the shock I felt when the radiologist told me I had cancer. You can probably guess at the string of expletives that flew out of my  mouth as I told her she was wrong, that I was only 39 years old , had 3 little kids and didn't she need a biopsy to make sure a diagnosis. She, however, assured me she knew what she was looking.  I essentially melted down right there.... 

Given my state, they called the doctor right then to get approval to do the biopsy that same day. The results came back the following Tuesday confirming the diagnosis.  I immediately reached out to breast cancer survivors in the neighborhood for recommendations on oncologist teams. I was surprised how many ladies at the local grade school had been through this already. I can honestly say that it was the support and encouragement of these ladies and other friends and family that got me through that first week after diagnosis.  My journey didn't begin in 'fighting mode' as I find myself now... it took some time to pull get my head around what I needed to do to beat this....and to believe I would beat this.

I chose an oncology team with the Lynn Sage Foundation at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.  My first appointment was with the cancer surgeon, Dr. Betthke.  The intent of this meeting was to determine the order of steps, specifically if he could operate given the size of the tumors or if I needed to do chemotherapy first to shrink the tumor.  The 'staging' of the cancer, I was told going into this meeting, would come after surgery, when they sampled the lymph nodes. This appointment did not go as planned. I went for what was to be a quick exam, followed by the meeting with he doctor to discuss the plan.  However, during my exam he clinically diagnosed me on the spot with a rare form of breast cancer called Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) and told me that I was an automatic stage 3.  I could handle cancer at this point, and felt optimistic I was early and stage 1 or possibly 2. Hearing stage 3 floored me.  Two days later I met with the chemotherapy oncologist, Dr. Kaklamani, and she informed me I was 'at least' stage 3, meaning they'd have to do bone scans, body scans and other test to see if the cancer had spread.  Again, unexpected and bad news.  They also informed me I was Her-2 positive, which means by body is producing a protein that causes it to spread more rapidly and make it more aggressive.  This was all dumped on me on Thurs, March 10th.  They set up the scans and test for the following Monday. My sister Tara flew in from NY to accompany me for the day, as we had appointments from 7:00 am through 4pm.  This was without question the longest day of my life, as we went waited to hear preliminary results of the tests.  It was late afternoon when I was in for my last appointment, a lymph node biopsy, when my Patient Navigator Lynn literally interrupted my biopsy and said I had to check my voicemail. I had a short and sweet message from my Dr Kaklamani's assistant - telling me that my scans were negative- the cancer had not spread!  Words cannot describe the relief that I felt at hearing this. I was overjoyed to only be stage 3b and to have a new lease on life!

I begged to start chemo right away.  Knowing I was Her-2 positive and that it was already in my lymph nodes and chest skin, I needed to start right away.  I had baseline heart scans Tuesday morning and began chemo on Wednesday March 16th.  More on chemo another time, but suffice it to use the old clique that 'ignorance is bliss' because let me tell you I had no idea...... but 1 down, 5 to go, and my last chemo cycle should take place on June 30th.

So what is my diagnosis? Where does this leave me?   I have Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC), which is an advanced form of infiltrating ductal carcinoma. IBC is not common and is often hard to diagnose; I feel lucky they diagnosed it right away. I am Her-2 positive, my tumors are estrogen and progestin receptive, and I am stage 3B.  Those are the facts. The reality is that I will survive, I will beat this, I will come out stronger than I was going in, I will continue to live and love life, I will see my kids grow up, I will grow old with my husband, this cancer is not going to stop me!   

GAME ON!
Mickie

9 comments:

  1. You rock, lady!!!!! You have written this so beautifully and with such grace! I'm so proud of you for 1, how amazing and strong you have been from the get go. Believe me, I can relate, it's hard sometimes but it is so true that your body almost goes on autopilot and your brain goes in survival mode. 2, I so love hearing the confidence in "your voice"! You will beat this, you will come out of this a stronger person, you will b better for having gone through it all, you will c things differently, u will stop sweating the small stuff and the best part is that Brian and the kids.....and all your friends......will have you around for the next 50 years! Ah lady, I love ya to pieces!!!!!

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  2. Amazing Mickie/Pippie - thanks for sharing this with us and we are rooting and praying for you every day -xo

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  3. And you will buy "real" cowboy boots!

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  4. Don't stop at boots Tara, get her some chaps too! :-) Your blog is very touching, Mick, I think you've tapped into your inner writer...I smell a book deal. Giddie up girlfriend, love ya.

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  5. xo Mickie! You will beat this with style and grace. Everyone loves you so much and is praying for you. I can't wait to see those boots!

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  6. And THAT'S how you beat it! Hope you are smiling, laughing and still shining! Beautiful spirit, as always, Mickie. So sorry you have to go down this road too. It does make you stronger, and it does make you look at life and the people around you much differently. Laugh, scream, cry, and have fun!!! These experiences set you free. Lots of love and energy coming your way. Praying you will be surrounded by Angels. I was. :) They will show up!
    xoxo Eileen

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  7. Mickie! You are beautiful. The world is better because you are here - and will continue to be. Prayers, love, and hugs to you, Brian, and the kiddos. xoxo Eileen

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  8. Wow Mickie! We just never know what's around the bend, do we?! How we handle ourselves in the face of adversity is our character shining through, and you're a tough cookie. God will give you the strength you need and we'll be praying for you every day. Love Cousin Jerry & family

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  9. Mickie- you are an inspiration. When I first met you at Bunko, and then at bowling, I thought you had a larger-than-life personality, an infectious charm that simply pulled everybody along. Your attitude about this journey you are on is amazing - never give up, and GAME ON!!! Love that saying, you go girl!!!
    Sarah Bales, 4th Friday Bowling

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